To be a good host, you must tackle your friend and sniff her aggressively immediately upon her arrival. Anything less makes you seem cold and standoffish.
–Cosmo and Stella
(Featuring their best friend Sydney)
Synchronized Napping
Even the best synchronized napping routine can fall apart when the middle Cat forgets to extend his right paw.
Try some freestyle napping to cover up the mistake.
–Darth and Amber
Spring Cleaning
You Humans do a spring cleaning of the house and yard.
We Cats perform an equally thorough spring grooming of our glossy fur.
–Darth Vader and Phelps
What is this?
What is this? Is this a suitcase? Are you going somewhere without us?
Prepare for cold tail upon your return.
–Lily, Charlie and Amber
Newfound Celebrity
The omnipresence of the paparazzi is one of the hardest things to get used to when you become a star. Don’t sweat it. So long as you keep your pretty whiskers groomed and your shirt front bright white, you’ll never take a bad photo.
–Luna
Dear Santa Claws
You know what would be nice, Santa Claws? A new, comfy doggy bed. The floor is hard, Santa Claws, and we believe the Meowies have perfumed our blanket more than once.
–Stella and Cosmo
Work
If you knew how to relax even half this well, Humans, your job could be relaxation instead of actual work.
–Finnegan and Phelps
Guarding the Fort
To maximize security, it is essential to have two Guard Cats on duty at any given time so that when one takes his nap break the other will remain vigilant to any and all threats to the Fort.
–Darth Vader and Phelps
TGIF
Happy Friday, Humans. Tomorrow you can lounge around, just like we Cats do every day of the week.
Just be sure to awaken and tend to us Cats when it is Food o’clock or Play o’clock or I’m-Bored o’clock.
It might be a good idea to tend to the Woofies, too. The noise pollution of untended Woofies disturbs our feline REM sleep.
Also, don’t even think about lounging in our spots. They are our spots. Find your own.
–Phelps
Cat Art
Humans, just because we break an occasional porcelain feline figurine, doesn’t mean that we don’t appreciate your efforts to idolize us through a collection of Cat Art.
–Finnegan
Daily Feline Wisdom 