Treadmills are great for increasing the Rookie Kitten’s strength, speed and endurance.
Before you turn on the treadmill, make sure the Rookie Kitten is facing the right way.
–Drill Master Phelps
Bad Counters
Humans are bad at counting. For example, there are three of us here, but only two bones.
Oh well… I suppose the Woofies will have to share the smaller bone.
–Quicksilver
New Recruit
When sizing up new recruits to the Guard Cat Academy, it’s important to assess their physical size, but even more important to measure the size of their personality.
Oh boy… I’ve got my paws full with this one.
–Phelps
Top Drawer
For a relaxing nap, nothing beats the top drawer but any drawer will do in a pinch.
–Lily
Early Dogsmas
Thank you for our early Dogsmas gift, Santa Claws! This new bed is much more comfortable than the cold, hard floor.
We promise we won’t gnaw through it to pull out its delectable stuffing until next year at the earliest.
–Cosmo and Stella
What is this?
What is this? Is this a suitcase? Are you going somewhere without us?
Prepare for cold tail upon your return.
–Lily, Charlie and Amber
The Finest
A finer specimen than me there’s never been nor ever will be.
–Darth Vader
Correction
Dear Santa Claws,
I hope there is still time to make a correction to my Catsmas list! I thought I wanted a teething toy, but I have since discovered that Human Mommy’s fingers do the job just fine.
Could I request a can or two or three or baker’s dozen of tuna instead?
–Luna
Dinnertime
Dinnertime is upon us, Humans.
May we assume that you have planned an appropriately meaty menu for us?
–Quicksilver and Charlie
Don’t read too much into this
Sure, we are holding left front paws and Darth Vader’s right front paw is draped over my tail. Don’t read too much into it, Humans. We’re Bros, but we’re not exactly BFFS, you know?
–Cosmo
Daily Feline Wisdom 