Do your Human Servants ever fall asleep on one of your Private-Members-Only-Cat-Club couches, thus depriving you of a proper napping spot to which your club fees entitle you?
Inexcusable.
Totally inexcusable, were it not for the opposable thumbs.
–Phelps
Cosmo is the best Dog Daddy ever! He looks out for me, he defends me when the Meowies get feisty, he lets me have the biggest bully stick and lets me chew on his jowls when there are no bully sticks because the Humans have mistimed our Chewy.com order.
My Daddy Cosmo is also an excellent pillow.
–Xena
No, I don’t think a Monday-morning breakfast in bed of tuna, fresh cream and a decorative, edible floral arrangement is too much to ask, Human Mommy.
It’s what I deserve.
–Luna
Good morning, Humans. I hereby proclaim the commencent of spring as I have awoken from my winter slumber.
Now get to work, Humans! I have many spring projects in mind to improve my Turtledom.
–Princess Maple Ann
Motion sickness? Tummy upset? All in the past!
A good kiss cures everything.
–Xena
Woofs are really all the Woofies contribute to guarding the homestead.
We Guard Cats, on the other paw, come equipped with laser-shooting eyes.
–Phelps and Darth Vader
No one survives the Rabbit-Kick-of-Death!
Not unless they are offering a can or two or three or bakers dozen of Tuna…
Get the Tuna, quickly, before I render your dominant opposable thumb inactive, Human!
–Phelps
Hump Day, you say, Humans?
I just can’t…
You’ll have to struggle over the hump without me.
–Darth Vader
I’m trying to enjoy the hammock, Human Daddy.
But the back and forth…
…and to and fro is wreaking havoc on my tummy.
Uh-oh! I maybe shouldn’t have eaten so much grass before joining you on the hammock, Human Daddy.
Please put me down on solid ground ASAP!
–Xena
