What do you mean, Human Mommy, that I must get out of this fun, crinkly plastic bag RIGHT NOW lest it smother me?
Did you ever think that you might be the one smothering me with your killjoy, rigid rules?
–Luna
Stalk
Heading out on the town this fine Friday evening?
Wherever you go, whatever you do, don’t walk.
Stalk.
–Phelps
Adorable
Bet you wish you could tuck your front paws so adorably, Humans!
Well, you can’t. Your phsyionomy doesn’t permit it and, even if it did, you need to be covered in silky, feline fur for this position to work.
Feel free to console yourselves by drinking in my adorableness.
–Luna
Bachelor Pad
Choose your bachelor pad wisely. If you like a bit of action, don’t move too far out to the country–youthful Kittens will keep you young.
On the other paw, be sure that your pad is protected from the hurly-burly of the youngsters’ catnip-fueled disputes. Kittens may do fine with a mere 18 hours of sleep daily, but you require a minimum of 20 hours.
Most importantly, make sure that your pad is in close proximity to the best place in the house, i.e. the kitchen.
–Charlie
Tuesday
What’s that, Humans? Tuesday, you say?
If I didn’t wake up for Monday, what makes you think that Tuesday will be any different?
Now go away. Try back on Hump Day.
Or, let’s be honest here, try back on Friday afternoon in time for happy hour.
Those Meowgaritas are not going to drink themselves, after all.
–Lily
Trixie
We Dogs highly recommend this WordPress story! It made our Monday.
Woofs and Wags, Cosmo and Stella
Naps vs. Work
All naps are good, but some are better than others. For example, although I appreciate my mid-morning and mid-afternoon naps, my early afternoon nap is my favorite.
What’s that Humans? It’s Monday and you have to “work”? “Work” precludes naps, you say?
“Work” sounds dreadful.
–Luna
Catnip
Oh, Catnip, my old friend, what have we done this time? More importantly, where are those Woofies? My head is about to burst and I have a hungover crimp in my tail. I need hair of the Woofies, stat.
–Lily
Drape
Why merely sit when you can drape?
–Quicksilver
Doppelcatter
Occasionally, when you head out to Friday Night Happy Hour, you encounter your Doppelcatter at the bar.
What’s he doing here, in my favorite bar, also known as the kitchen?
Wash your face–it will help you ignore him.
Stare at him with your laser eyes–eventually he’ll melt.
Either way, don’t let him ruin your evening. You worked…er…napped hard this week. It’s time to party!
–Charlie and Finnegan
Daily Feline and Canine Wisdom 