When you are taking your daily inventory of the foodstuffs, do your Humans tell you to get out of the refrigerator because “Kittens are best at room temperature?”
That’s a terrible, offensive joke, meriting many hisses.
As a pragmatist, though, you may do better to direct your Humans’ attention to the unopened pack of Canadian Bacon on the shelf above your right ear.
–Luna
Nothing knocks out the sting of separation anxiety like a good nap.
–Stella, Cosmo, Finnegan, and Darth Vader
Sometimes, your best Meowie friend may something hurtful like “I need my space” or “Get out of my face, Woofie.” Don’t listen to her and, above all, don’t take her words personally.
She probably just has a hairball.
–Cosmo
Sunday Brunch is more about the beverages than the food. Bloody Meowy, Meowmosa, Meowgarita, Cream shots, take your pick.
More than the beverages, it’s about the Girl Time.
–Amber, Lily and Luna
It’s awesome to have a big sister who can show you the coolest places to hang out, like on top of Human Mommy’s favorite hoodie, and how to glare so that Human Mommy knows better than to disturb you by trying to put on her hoodie.
–Luna
Scissors, Humans? Are you kidding me? This box you ordered has been on the floor for weeks. It is now my bed, perfectly contoured to my furry body.
I bet you don’t even remember what’s in it.
–Lily
What a lovely crystal drinking vessel, Humans! I’m assuming the flowers are just for decoration, sort of like how you Humans place itsy-bitsy umbrellas in your fanciest cocktails.
–Luna
Intrusiveness, thy name is Woofie.
–Charlie
Thank you all so much for your good wishes! I have a luxating patella caused by my heroic charge into the front fence to defend my yard against an interloper. The Humans have told me that I will be going to a third vet next Wednesday for a surgical consultation. After that, I will have knee surgery to become a bionic Dog.
For all our Dog and Meowy followers, think very carefully about heroism. You don’t always get a medal. Sometimes, all you get is a visit to three–count them, three!–vets for your trouble.
Woofs and Wags, Stella
You know what’s bummier than a bum knee? Going to two vets in two days time to get their individual opinions regarding the level of bumminess of your bum knee.
You know what’s bummiest of all? The waiting, paws down, the waiting.
–Stella
