Don’t feel lazy, Humans! You were right not to dismantle the Catsmas tree until every single Cat and Kitten got to play in it.
–Luna
Hangover
Hit the ‘nip a little too hard last night? Accidentally start a brawl in the most popular Cat Bar in town, also known as the kitchen?
Nothing a 20-hour cat nap can’t cure.
–Quicksilver
T.D.I.F.
Thank Dog It’s Friday! Welcome home, Human Mommy! We see you carrying a box full of beer, wine, and chips.
Where are our bully sticks, our pig ears, and our marrow bones?
–Cosmo and Stella
Dark Clouds
Do you ever feel like there’s a black cloud hanging over your head?
Could be…
Or it could just be Uncle Darth lounging on the platform above you.
–Finnegan
What to do?
What’s a Jungle Kitten to do first? Swing from the vines, nibble on the spider plant or bat at the palm tree?
–Luna
Comfortable
This may not look comfortable but it is. I swear it is, for the both of us, honest.
–Cosmo
Tidying up
It is acceptable to share a bed with the Woofies, but it would be even better if they thought to tidy up their bones and sundry chew toys before your arrival.
–Charlie and Quicksilver
Luxuriating
Don’t be jealous, Humans. Unless you are a silky, shiny House Panther, there’s no way you will ever be able to luxuriate this well.
Feel free to imitate me, though, to the best of your limited abilities.
–Darth Vader
Don’t be too nice…
Ladies, it’s easy to be too nice, too indirect, when trying to blow someone off. Eventually, you may just have to threaten the use of your claws.
Wait… He’s still here. What part of “I’m about to lacerate your nose” does he not understand?
–Luna
I think I’m growing on her. We’ll be besties in no time.
–Cosmo
Respect
Do the younger Cats display insufficient respect to you, the Catriarch, ever since they discovered that your previous Humans removed your claws because they loved their furniture more than you?
Time to make a Woofie ally.
–Charlie
