No, you may not rest your gigantic head on my pillow, Human Mommy.
What a strange question!
Why would you even ask?
–Darth Vader
Annoying Habits
I know you’re excited about your squeaky candy cane, Cosmo, but can you cool it on the tail wagging?
Some of us are trying to nap here.
–Luna
The Box
The Catsmas gifts were good.
The cardboard box they came in was even better.
–Quicksilver
Hydration
To become a strong Warrior Princess, you must eat heartily, work out hard, and hydrate.
Hydration is most important.
–Xena
Helping Out
Whatcha doing Human Daddy?
Can I help you out?
Oooh! This fire we built feels so good on my fur!
–Xena
Too Much Space!
Humans, Cosmo is taking up way too much space!
His long lankiness is no excuse for his front paw resting against my tail.
Do something, Humans!
If not, I’ll have to deploy my Murder Mittens!
–Lily
Too big?
What do you mean I’m too big to sit on the back of the couch, Humans? I see the Meowies do it all the time.
Uh-oh! The cushions seem to have collapsed under me.
You may have a point, Humans. Either that or your couch is defective.
–Cosmo
Blockage
Sometimes you will encounter a blockage on your way to a higher position.
If the blockage is named Amber, it’s advisable to look for a detour.
–Luna
Why oh why?
Why oh why did you get her, Humans?
Why oh why are you making those funny hissy noises and folding back your ears, Uncle Darth?
Okay, bye Uncle Darth! Maybe we can play later?
I hope we can play later!
–Darth Vader and Xena
Help your Humans Catch Some Zzzz’s
It’s not an everyday occurrence, but every so often, you should help your Humans catch some zzz’s by serving as a pillow.
Trust me. A well-rested Human is much more likely than a sleep-deprived Human to use his opposable thumbs to your benefit by popping open a can or two or three of tuna.
–Quicksilver
Daily Feline Wisdom 