When your humans rudely interrupt your beauty sleep, turn your emerald eyes into green laser guns.
–Lily
Two Puppies
You kitties may not believe us, but two puppies are better than one. One puppy will try to engage you in his hyper games. Two puppies will engage each other, which leads to Mutually Assured Exhaustion.
–Charlie, Darth Vader, Phelps, Quicksilver, Amber, Lily, and Finnegan
Safety First
Even though you have to inspect all of the appliances, don’t get too far into the oven. Safety first.
–Quicksilver
Foot Pounce
Don’t worry if you forget to hide your tail during the morning session of Foot Pounce. Humans have notoriously slow reflexes, especially before they’ve had their coffee. Even if they know you’re coming for them, they are incapable of moving their feet fast enough to avoid your lightening claws and teeth.
–Finnegan
The Best Dog
The best dog is a sleeping dog.
–Lily
Nice New Things
When your humans give you a new thing, like a nice flowered bedspread, show your approval by stretching out on it. Then start the hard work of shedding so that your new thing will match your old things.
–Quicksilver and Darth Vader
Upside Down Head
Try sleeping with your head upside down. This classic cat yoga position will stretch out your spine, work out any kinks, and raise your cute quoitient.
–Amber
Old Adages
Old adages don’t necessarily apply to the modern world. Have you heard the one about age before beauty? It only applies when the beauty is NOT a youthful tortie who makes you wait an eternity you don’t have to drink from the bathtub faucet.
Millenials.
–Charlie
Look out the Window
Is the winter driving you stir crazy? Don’t forget to look out the window.
–Cosmo and Lily
Gratitude
Although falling snow draws large flocks to the feeder, you recognize that your midnight fur would provide insufficient camouflage against the white backdrop. Take a moment to feel grateful that you are a house panther who can watch birds for entertainment and whose food bowl is filled by the servants… er… humans.
–Darth Vader
