A lovely story from Portugal about the daring rescue of a beautiful, singing House Panther. Enjoy!
Purrs, Darth Vader et al
Fetch
No, Cosmo, Human Mommy can’t play fetch with you right now.
Can’t you see?
Human Mommy is busy being my cushion.
–Darth Vader
Panther Puddle
Beware of the hot temperatures, Humans! Your House Panther may melt into a large, tarry puddle, reminiscent of an oil slick.
Don’t fret, Humans! Tuna and catnip will restore your Panther to his solid form.
–Darth Vader
Fine, I guess I can share…
Fine, I guess I can share but only with Human Daddy.
He bought my chair after all.
–Darth Vader
Government Regulations
Please fetch me a fishing pole, Human Mommy.
What do you mean I need a fishing license to fish in my own private goldfish and Koi pond?!
Great, just great.
My breakfast plans are ruined due to nonsensical government regulations.
–Darth Vader
Swedish Torch
No matter how warm the evening, never say “no” to a good Swedish Torch.
–Darth Vader
Best Seat in the House
Looking for the best seat in the house? Pick the Human with the softest lap.
–Darth Vader
Darkening
This sheet is still whitish, but I am definitely darkening it with my midnight fur.
Just a few more weeks and it will be perfect.
What’s that? My Humans will toss it in the wash before I achieve my aesthetic vision of a sheet that glistens like the Hope Diamond?
Pffft… If they haven’t done it yet, what makes you think they’ll do it soon?
–Darth Vader
Parallel Parking
Humans, do you ever feel like your Cats are judging your parallel parking skills only to find them lacking?
It’s not all in your mind. We are judging you.
–Darth Vader
Luxuriating
Don’t be jealous, Humans. Unless you are a silky, shiny House Panther, there’s no way you will ever be able to luxuriate this well.
Feel free to imitate me, though, to the best of your limited abilities.
–Darth Vader
Daily Feline Wisdom 