Please use your opposable thumbs to open the fridge, Human Mommy.
I’m feeling peckish.
–Darth Vader
House Panther
Human Mommy calls me a House Panther.
Human Mommy is nearsighted and lacks a sense of scale.
I’m a full-size Panther, no qualifier required.
–Darth Vader
Strange Question
No, you may not rest your gigantic head on my pillow, Human Mommy.
What a strange question!
Why would you even ask?
–Darth Vader
A gremlin in the gutter
A lovely story from Portugal about the daring rescue of a beautiful, singing House Panther. Enjoy!
Purrs, Darth Vader et al
Panther Puddle
Beware of the hot temperatures, Humans! Your House Panther may melt into a large, tarry puddle, reminiscent of an oil slick.
Don’t fret, Humans! Tuna and catnip will restore your Panther to his solid form.
–Darth Vader
Swedish Torch
No matter how warm the evening, never say “no” to a good Swedish Torch.
–Darth Vader
Best Seat in the House
Looking for the best seat in the house? Pick the Human with the softest lap.
–Darth Vader
Darkening
This sheet is still whitish, but I am definitely darkening it with my midnight fur.
Just a few more weeks and it will be perfect.
What’s that? My Humans will toss it in the wash before I achieve my aesthetic vision of a sheet that glistens like the Hope Diamond?
Pffft… If they haven’t done it yet, what makes you think they’ll do it soon?
–Darth Vader
Evaporation
Sometimes the Humans are puzzled as to why the water level in the garden fountains goes down so fast.
Evaporation, Humans.
What else could it be?
–Darth Vader
Rainbow Whiskers
Enjoy the sunshine while it lasts. Tilt your head so that your whiskers can refract late winter rainbows.
–Darth Vader
Daily Feline Wisdom 